Musings on Wednesday

Being a college graduate is strange. I thought I’d feel more a part of the world once I’d accomplished my bachelor’s, but it all still feels like I’m looking at everything through a fishbowl, part of it all and yet separate. Maybe that goes away in time. Maybe that’s just life. Either way, walking through the art village after my final critique with Juergen, realizing that there was nothing left for me here, it all felt oddly surreal; it was an unexpected, paradoxical combination of achievement and alienation. I felt like I’d conquered this school, but at the same time that I didn’t belong here. I suppose that’s what happens when you outgrow a place. But I never expected the feeling to set in that immediately.

But now on to bigger and better things. My apartment is slowly being packed, prints are being delivered to their respective buyers, and as I sip the lukewarm tea I bought at Starbucks earlier and should probably throw away by now, the realization that I have just nine days left here is finally setting in.

These four years have been full of such tremendous growth. Terrible at times, daunting so often, and yet as I was handed my diploma, it was all consolidated into a snapshot memory, encompassing the good, the bad, and the immeasurable amount in between. I can only hope that grad school will facilitate that same development in my life.

I stole this picture from Jessie. Worth it.

And now I’ll finish rambling for the night. Beach House’s Bloom is the album of the night, and, as it’s lulling to a close right about now, so this post should too.

…Listen to On the Sea, from that album. It’s incredible. Also, here’s a cheesy picture of me with my diploma. Enjoy.

CJB

This is the obligatory graduation photo. Cheesy ‘n everything.

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This entry was published on May 24, 2012 at 01:01 and is filed under Prattle. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

5 thoughts on “Musings on Wednesday

  1. 1. “I felt like I’d conquered this school, but at the same time like I didn’t belong there.”

    Yeah, that’s been my life for some time now.

    2. The trick to the weird feeling of “what just happened” is to consolidate in some way. What you have from school was never really from class, or your work, or good times with friends. Typically: consolidation is some sort of sharing (which you’re doing now).

  2. (At least in my opinion) when you leave school you have that fishbowl feeling, but then as you interact with the “real” world you lose that sense and instead adopt its cousin. Its cousin being that you will become acclimated with the world but you will maintain your individuality and must remind yourself that you are an anchor in a stream. Don’t be swayed by the wiles of the world, and dont be intimidated by how little most people care. Cherish your friendship, you will feel it when theyre lost. I know alot of this seems cliche or obvious but outside of an environment where common ideals are promoted, you find out who you really are, and then decide who you want to be. You decide whether or not you will be affected, or if you will do the effecting. Best of luck, I’m glad I know you.

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